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The Greatest Story Ever Told 2

2011

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As a long awaited sequel to the 1965 film ‘The Greatest Story Ever Told’ by George Stevens, this story follows the character Jesus as he continues the battle against evil. The action is set in the future (2012) although the plotline itself starts in the late 70’s and shows the sequence of historical events that lead to the final cataclysmic battle for mankind…

Part One:      The Third Testament (setting up the movie):

  • (Flashback) In the late 1970’s English scientist Richard Dawkins coined the phrase ‘The Meme Theory’ in his book The Selfish Gene. (A meme is an idea, behaviour or style that spreads from person to person within a culture. Later this would be used to describe events which when spread on the Internet are said to go ‘viral’.)
  • Shortly after Dawkins revelation, the World Wide Web is created and slowly grows to encompass the planet. It is then that Satan conceives his master plan to annoy God and cease all humanity.
  • Satan’s first step is to make a pact with Dawkins and enlisting him as his ‘Anti-Christ’. Knowing that, as an Atheist, Dawkins doesn’t believe in him, Satan offers to make him a successful author by giving him ‘proof’ that God doesn’t exist so that he can write his bestsellers. Dawkins cockiness at doing a deal where he seemingly can’t lose (as he ‘knows’ that Hell doesn’t exist), makes him easy prey for the ‘Master of Lies’.
  • The final ingredient needed in Satan’s plan to destroy humanity in 2012, just time for the end of the Mayan calendar, was to enslave the souls of the children born into this digital world.  These Digital natives. The Children born from 1980 to 2000.
  • These children would be called Generation Y. They would be unlike any generation before them… and easily manipulated into following the diabolical plans set out by Satan and his unwitting henchman; The Anti-Christ. (Dawkins). They would be late 20s by the planned date for Armageddon… and ready to fight!!
  •  The plan revolved around the SELFISH GENEration and the proliferation of Internet memes in accordance with Dawkin’s Meme Theory. Satan’s own company (Pine) Apple (related to the apple from the Garden of Eden) facilitates the spread of selfishness and evil worldwide, through You Tube, Face Book and Twitter on it’s aptly named ‘i’ devices (iPhone, iPod, iPad etc).
  • Gen Y’s pursuit of 15mins of fame (with virtually no effort) is epitomised by Paris Hilton. An heiress who is famous for being famous after appearing in a Celebrity Sex Tape that went viral on the Internet. Together, the unholy union of Satan and Dawkins realise that they can harness the souls of the generation, if they can give them what they desire most. (Pine) Apple develops an App to speed up evolution in accordance with Dawkins’ The Selfish Gene thus making the user famous and beautiful (with no effort). The App grants the user the magnitude and effortlessness of Hilton’s fame with the immediacy demanded by Generation Y. The result is that an entire generation become instant replicas of their new (false) idol. Each member of the generation ready to do anything to achieve those 15 mins as easily as possible…

Part Two:      The Last Testament (for now):  The movie begins…

  • (Present Day) Satan tells Dawkins (The Anti-Christ) that the one person who can halt the end of humanity is Jesus, who disappeared half way through the New Testament in a spaceship. In order to defeat Jesus if he comes back, Dawkins is instructed that he must form his Gen Y clones into an army under one belief. Atheism is the ‘trendy’ new ‘religion’ that he uses to do this and its mascot is the loveable Flying Spaghetti Monster. Young atheists are so passionate about not believing that it’s worse than believing.  Dawkins knows this, as it is the crux of his plan to destabilise Jesus’ power. Dawkins ‘British’ arrogance at thinking he has outsmarted Satan is apparent, but it is unclear just who is really in command.

  • In preparation for the ultimate battle, Satan uses his power to create another foe for Jesus. He takes the most potent viral meme of the generation, the LOL Cat and forms a race of giant LOL Cats that transforms (ers) from the bodies and souls of all the cats in the world that have been photographed in stupid ways with ridiculous misspelled text.

  • Jesus returns the way he left; in a flash of light and appearing as the actual Bible describes him, short hair, no beard, not striking in any way, dressed in the fashion of the day. (Only pixelated, so as not to give his identity away to the computer savvy Gen Y) He lands among the Gen Y/Hilton clones and quickly realises that they only live to serve themselves.

  • Jesus is captured (possibly tortured) by the Gen Y clones, after being videoed trying to help someone with street directions (when the battery in their iPhone died and they couldn’t use the GPS). The footage of someone helping someone else went viral and Jesus was held against his will and led into temptation by the clones whose only real skill was fornication.

  • Jesus easily escapes (after a while), but the Anti-Christ and his legion of atheists is ready and the battle for humanity begins. The clones have the (Pine) Apple iPhone for weapons; the massive (and distinctly not cute) LOL Cats have eye lasers.

  •  Jesus shoots lightning from his hands and an Epic battle ensues. Space ships are also seen to be assisting Jesus. Eventually dispatching the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

  •    As expected (except by the Mayans, of course) Jesus triumphs and Dawkins is crucified on a Giant Y (insert product placement here) alongside two of his Gen Y army. 2012 is not the end of the world, but merely the beginning. So maybe the Mayans did have it right…

  •    Happiness abounds and it’s all quite lovely. But before leaving again on his spaceship, Jesus spots a newborn baby in the rubble (possibly his…) and marks it with the sign of a new world… A new generation.  Generation Z.

 

Ian C Pool: HolyGreenCow
July 2011

 

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